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Remember the Nicknames
 
The ones with nicknames
are those I remember best,
like Lethal Lynex
who once partnered
Lineker at Leicester,
hence the L's
(though it was ironic,
as he was never lethal!).
 
And Jason Psycho Perry, of course,
the nickname self-explanatory
for a leg-chopping defender.
Joe Dwyer, his middle name,
local boy who almost died playing:
tough as a heavyweight champion.
 
But best of all, was Gary Basil Stevens
who resembled the hero of Fawlty Towers,
not just by lankiness but movement:
sometimes he looked like the Ministry
of Silly Runs, this leggy striker
who toppled like a cardboard tower.
Yet, he'd leap to a header
and even, occasionally, with his feet
slam it in. He was there
for that infamous free-kick routine:
four over the ball, a wall goolie-clutching;
every player ran over it, including Basil!
 
At times, in those days, we needed
to laugh, we were so terrible.
Now it's all Macca, Ginge or Rambo
and no names to bring a chuckle
on a damp, dark Tuesday at Ninian Park
when the rain rants in from the Channel.
 
 

 

 

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