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New Year's Resolutions
To put on a lot more weight.
To have more rows with family and friends.
To buy more clothes that donít fit.
To cut my own hair haphazardly.
To start smoking.
To break at least one of my bones.
To spend as much time sitting as possible.
To eat nothing but burgers and chips.
To imbibe no sugar free soft drink.
To spend more time in the pub.
To avoid job promotion at all costs.
To live entirely on money I donít have.
To have all my credit/debit cards cut in two.
To never be completely alcohol free.
To get done for drunken driving.
To be totally honest with my love.
To be celibate for the whole year.
To give up washing for a few months.
To fart in as many elevators as possible.
To always believe gossip.
To spend 28 days being psychologically assessed.
To beat the crap out of a teenager.
To get myself listed as disabled.
To go joyriding in a double decker bus.
To become addicted to substance abuse.
To just give up on Christmas and New Year Celebrations.
To be truly happy about how miserable I am.