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Rushin' on Diamonds

Following on from the not particularly successful and in no way critically acclaimed book "Pure Diamonds", comes this new book.

This new book does not attempt to break new ground in any way. It is not intended as a user's manual to smash the system, and it gives absolutely no advice regarding how to win favour with the opposite sex. This book is not in any way "bling bling". Although it contains an introduction by the one, the only, the legendary King Kong, it is in no way hip. It is definitely not hip hop. In fact, if you buy it, you will most likely almost instantaneously regret the decision, in the same way that you do after having bought a lottery ticket and then see the winning numbers. But maybe, just maybe, for that brief period before regret, it might just cause a faint feeling of happiness, a sort of pseudo-notion of another way of life, and perhaps a longing to better oneself.

The launch of Rushin' on Diamonds (or "ROD" as the little book has become known as, to those familiar with it) has been and gone. I spent a lot of time rushing around trying to promote the event, and all those who were there will no doubt vouch for the fact that this sure paid off. As you all may recall, I was a little late starting, but don't blame me - it took me that long squeezing past you all just to get to the stage! Seriously, it went OK I suppose - thanks to all who WERE there, and apologies again for the lack of Jack Diamond (aka Manos)'s presence, but don't blame him, blame the morons in charge of the nation's mental institutions. I wish I had after all made my little rant I'd planned to make about how this world would progress far better if all Britain's psychiatric hospitals were knocked down and space centres built in their place.

Anyway, another thing I wanted to mention - a few of you asked, just how did I get that mammoth of a celebrity that is King Kong to do the intro for the book? The truth is, I don't think King Kong himself actually wrote the intro. I don't think he even read the book (can you imagine a monkey the size of the Empire State Building trying to flick through the pages of an A5 booklet?!) What happened was, I wrote off to his agent asking him if "the King" could just write a few words, making out he knew me and stuff. The agent did suggest we blow the book up to A1 size so maybe King Kong could at least get the gist of the thing. Anyway, in the end, I don't think he even bothered doing that - the agent just wrote the intro himself, getting King Kong to put his name to it to authenticate it la Andy Warhol. And as I say, it's just rubbish about how King Kong and I go back a long way. I think I bumped into his big toe once at a jungle rave (this was before the term drum'n'bass was invented of course), but the chances of him remembering that are remote, I grant you.

 

 

 

 

 

Sample
Poems

 

Nick Fisk's

Skillful Fly

 

One Sin

 

Happy Mondays

 

Placebo ECT

 

Bandit

 

Jack Diamond's

Do Kids Know Horses?

 

For Jean-Paul Sartre

 

The Fall

 

Us

 

Nameless Horses

 

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